October 04, 2011 : Goldie Hawn, Hollywood’s famous actor and Indophile turned “happiness expert” recently released a book, 10 Mindful Minutes that outlines a programme called MindUp that will help teachers and parents de-stress their little ones by giving them “brain breaks”. In her autobiography A Lotus grows in the mud, Hawn has talked about being a happy child “always with a smile”; later when she became an actress she “lost that smile” and it took her nine years to get it back on.  Hawn dedicated her time to learn “more about her psyche and her brain”. Why the brain does what it does? What is the God part of brain? Can the brain put the smile back on a child’s face? In 2005, Hawn created The Hawn Foundation, in response to an alarming jump in stress, depression and violence in children especially after 9/11. Along with neuroscientists, educators and researchers Hawn developed the MindUp programme, which helps children reduce stress and anxiety and improve concentration and academic performance. As an extension of her work, a couple of days ago, Hawn released her book 10 Mindful Minutes, which teaches children how to bust stress.

Experts say, kids the world over are stressed now than ever before. Dr Sangeetha Swaminathan, paediatrician says, “There is a change within the social structure of the family today. Support systems with nuclear families are quite restrictive considering that both parents work. Also, the educational system we have for children today adds significantly to the pressures that children face today.”

The basic concept put forth by Goldie Hawn’s MindUp programme is to help children
» Focus better
» Create an awareness about their senses
» Develop the right attitudes
» Teach them mindful action like gratitude, sharing, kindness etc

Jaicy George, psychiatric social worker and a parenting and life skills consultant, says: “Self awareness is something that needs to be cultivated in children of today. Only when children are made more aware, will they be able to make better decisions in life and thereby reduce the stress that they are bound to face on a daily basis.”

Testing times
There are several situations that a child faces which can cause him stress. Dr Sangeetha says, “Medically when a child is being evaluated for stress we do what is known as the HEEADSSS, a psycho-social evaluation test. This stands for Home, Education, Eating, Activities, Depression, Substance, Sexuality and Safety. Anybody, including parents and teachers, can ask and answer questions related to these aspects of the child and will be able to find the root cause of stress. Often, the results are really eye-opening.”

Symptoms are often common across all stressful situations and there are a few that are specific to a problem. Being able to give the child a break can happen only when you are able to understand the cause of the stress and what situation the child is facing it in.

Here are some common situations:

The dreaded exams
Children seem to be sleeping too much or are suffering from insomnia around exam time, says Dr Sangeetha. Bingeing on food or exhibiting bulimia-like symptoms is another telltale sign. If children drop more than 15 per cent of their weight, you need to look into things.

Jaicy says that children feel the stress of parent’s expectations which are in most cases transference of unfulfilled dreams. Children stress about the fear of failure. Giving children a break here is more the work of parents in this situation.
 Brain break: Working parents who can’t spend time with their children during studies should sit down with them and chart a study time-table taking the child’s abilities into consideration. Commenting negatively on failure can result in the child stressing more about another examination. Ensuring the child gets good sleep and is not overworked will help bring down the stress a child feels. Breathing exercises can help in concentration.

Peer pressure
Your child suddenly seems to take an interest in things that are not really his personality, says Dr Sangeetha, is a specific symptom. The sudden excessive use of perfumes, hanging out with friends who may be much older, avoiding eye contact with parents, having some unusual gifts come his/her way and sudden interest in things of a darker nature. Children can end up as bullies or as victim of bullying in such cases.

Brain break: A child can stop stressing about being pressured by friends when he is confident that the decision he is making is right for him. This sense of awareness has to be cultivated from a young age. When your child has done something right, praise your child and let them know that they have done the right thing. Not only does this improve their coping skills, but also helps in conflict resolution as the child grows older, thus eliminating one more reason to stress.
If the child is the bully, the main idea is to find the cause of the frustration and provide an alternate outlet to the child. This could be a sporting activity or something calming like music etc. A child should not be labelled a bully. Rather, effort should be made to look at the positive aspects of the child and praise those. It will boost self esteem and reduce the need for the child to stress for attention in such negative ways. Also, an important point here is to lay down the ground rules, which should not be crossed at any time.

Sibling rivalry
The problem with most sibling rivalry is that children tend to feel that the parents are taking sides.There is often a feeling parents don’t understand their feelings and that there is preferential treatment towards one of the siblings.
Brain break: The most important thing here is that parents need to have a joint stand and need to lay down some ground rules when it comes to siblings fighting. As far as possible, let children handle their own fights and not come to you for a solution. This will help them thrash things out better and go to bed satisfied that they fought their own battles. If things get out of hand, try time outs or take a neutral stand and divert the attention of the children. 
 

Depression
Dr Sangeetha says that lack of concentration can be an indicator of depression. You will be able to gauge this if your child bursts into tears for small reasons, or takes off by themselves to secret places for long periods of time. Dropping grades, insomnia and psycho-somatic symptoms like physical aches and pains that continuously prevail will need to be examined. There can be several reasons for depression –  strained parental relations are one of them.  However, no child is going to admit that there is trouble in paradise with his parents. Depression can also be caused by worry about studies.

Brain break: It is important that parents make time every week for their children. Indulge them in activities that are outside the routine. TV is not considered a break. Every child has one genuine talent or interest and the child should be encouraged to take up an extra-curricular activity. Taking up activities that are part of the school curriculum helps as these are built into the study schedule. All of this will give the child an outlet and reduce stress.

Again, says Jaicy, some parents believe in crowding a child’s schedule with a range of activities, many a time to compensate for the lack of their presence. This does the child no good as they have no time to relax and are often stressed about getting from one activity to another.


Stress-triggers
» Violence (brought on TV or seen at home)
» Trauma (death of a parent)
» Natural disasters
» Sexual or emotional abuse


Stress indicators
Following symptoms exhibited by a child on a continued basis indicates that the child is stressed:
» Sudden mood swings
» Bedwetting
» Temper tantrums
» Loss of appetite
» Insomnia or excessive lethargy
» Constant aches and pains
» Nailbiting / Twirling of hair
» Separation anxiety (excessive clinging to parents)
» Violent behaviour
» Spending time outdoor with friends or unsavoury friend circles
» Inappropriate behaviour – lying, rudeness etc
» Substance abuse by a family member